Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Slogging Through Mud

Just what I needed; one more thing to deal with today!” My friend’s phrase “one more thing” rang of years of frustration and got me thinking of one of mine, "slogging through mud." Suddenly I realized it was the analogy of my life. More than analogy, it was my life.

I was raised in Ohio where mud is a neutral brown clay that clings heavily to your boots and slows you down. Slogging through mud makes you very tired. Every day when dealing with the "maintenance" side of life, it’s as though I am slogging through mud. Even just picturing my day with patches of "mud" between me and my goals makes me tired.

Mental mud can be any task I think I have to complete before I get to do what I want. Mud shows up as appointments on my calendar, incomplete projects or anything I have to do first. Even fun things like lunch dates with friends can become mud, if they come between me and my goals. After slogging through mud all day, it’s no wonder I need a nap!

Once I got just how real mud was in my life, I started noticing it in the moment and saying what i saw to myself: “You think showering is mud. So is making orange juice. Eating breakfast is mud. Piles of mail, more mud…”

After a while I just started to laugh because it was so true! If I wanted to get some work done, laundry was mud; if I wanted to get the laundry done, work was mud. Like my friend, there was always one more thing in the way. I even had a saying for it: “We don’t do what’s important, we just do what’s next.” And I wondered why it was so challenging to live in appreciation. Of course it was hard; I was trying to appreciate being held back!

As a reminder, I filled a jar with mud from the garden and sat it on my desk for comparison, “Mail / mud. Phone call / mud. Lunch / mud…” It helped to be able to tell the difference; but until I realized I didn’t see a difference, I couldn’t have said it.

Then it hit me. There was grace hidden in the analogy. Since I worked at home, everything in my day actually had the same priority. It was all the same except for what I wanted – my goals – and it was up to me to say. The mud story saved me from ever having to say what I wanted. (Refer to post 6/13/08 "Wanting Something.")

When I understood how it worked, the analogy’s hold on me was gone! I now say what I want, do it, and while I’m doing it, it remains what I want to do. For the first time since my childhood, my days are free of mud.